Like me, the inverted pink triangle has been a symbol of gay pride since the 1970s. I’m sure you already know this, Dear Breeder, as you loudly assert every time you’re within earshot of my cubicle that you saw Milk in the theater (before the Oscars). But are you aware of the pink triangle’s more sinister historical origins? During the Holocaust, gay male prisoners in Nazi death camps were forced to wear them to indicate their supposed crimes. Queer culture’s valiant attempt to reclaim this symbol makes us one of only two populations keeping Nazi imagery alive: gay activists and white supremacists. Ouch!
Despite the pink triangle’s earliest association with gay male persecution, the pinkest triangles have to do exclusively with lesbian freedom. Lesbians have been tied up with triangles since the days of Sappho (see Fragment 31), and today’s modern lesbian undoubtedly finds herself in at least a few erotic triangulations over the course of her gay & lesbian lifetime.
Fragment 31 begins, quoth, “Get your hands off my woman, you she-beast!”
Case in point: This week, I fielded an emergency call from my Platonic Sapphic friend with Nicomachean ethics. Having recently moved to a new city, she promptly slept her way into a corner. Unlike your typical “fresh meat” scenario, lesbian-sexual-passions-corresponding-with-a-move are not merely random hook-ups but intricate geometrical patterns most often resembling triangles. Orderly promiscuity is the name of the game in the lesbian community, Dear Breeder, and it’s time you face facts and realize just how much you wish you were a lesbian.
Meta-play on spectatorial triangulation, or Jordache ad?
It seems my friend has single-handedly, or possibly both-handedly, amassed a triangle of girly admirers to call her own and has watched in whorror as her own erotic loyalties have shifted over the course of several monthly cycles. Alas, she has unintentionally become, as strict Hallandoatesian ethicists would have it, a Woman-Eater. Thanks to my Classical education and upbringing, I easily walked my friend through her problems over the course of a grueling, seventeen hour phone call, using this basic lesbian formula: What Wouldn’t Sappho Do? In no time, she was off the streets and back in the sheets!
Can you imagine captivating the attention of three people simultaneously, Dear Breeder (not counting your children and childlike husband)? Can you envision fluttering between three lovers without anyone’s feelings getting hurt? Well, lesbians not only imagine it, we do it. And then we do it with two other people. Next time you see a lesbian, think of the pink triangle (no, the other one–up higher!) that no doubt erotically links her to two other lesbians. And then think of those pink triangles tying her to eight more pink triangles ad infinitum. For then and only then will you finally see the Escheresque kaleidoscope that is lesbian promiscuity.
Don’t even get me started on the HRC symbol…
Tags: Erotic Triangulation, fresh meat, Jordache jeans or burlap pant?, Lesbian Common Courtesy, Lesbian Promiscuity, Sappho, The Pink Triangle, What To Do with Your New Love Triangle
April 1, 2009 at 1:28 pm |
Dear Breeder’s Digest, as a I would like to share my testimonial and say that you are best teacher evah!!! You are saving the lives of Breeders and Non-Breeders alike.
All disasters have been averted thanks to your formula. I Sapphicly sat down with all parties involved. Not in a typical Greek orgy style, remember I have Nicomachean ethics, butt one on one and face to face–always the best position to be in!! Ay Mami!!! My conversations all took place within days or hours of each other. So, I guess this still makes me a lesbo playa–but I needed to quickly explain the rise of my stimulus package that was aptly shaped like a pulsating pink triangle.
“Listen”, I said in my bossiest of bossy tones, “my mother, Aristotalita, taught me that happiness is the highest goal of all human deliberate actions. But! Yes there is always a BUTT!! I grew up during the time of chester the molester mustaches and shitty permed hair. You dig? I can’t do much about the fact that I have private eyes that are watching you and you and you. My Hallandoatesian ethicists tell me that your kiss is on my list but when you are on the list with two others, then, I can’t go for that. I must choose one and believe it or not, it is going to be the Rich Girl.
I played this one so well, thanks to you, that I prevented being out of touch with all of them. I like touching and being in touch with the pink Triangle has proven to be the best method for achieving my Nicomachean mandated happiness.
Lucky for me, they were all of the generation to understand my classic rock inspired modale de communicato.
Thank you Dr. Emma.
Sincerely,
Your Grasshopper for Ever