1. I will start my own talk show and develop a gimmick (i.e. dancing) that will endear me to the heterosexual mainstream.
2. I will “adopt a star” in the ever-expanding galaxy to learn more about my place in the universe (as an aimless and unwitting consumer).
3. I will not wash my hair for days, but will compensate for that by wearing exuberant layers of flannel.
4. I will swim with the dolphins. Or, at minimum, I will utilize online dolphin art for daily therapy.
Lesbian Heaven
5. I will try to listen to more Cher, and listen to Patti Smith the same amount.
6. I will keep/wear/display more feathers/cacti/organics in my home/hair/truck/garden.
7. I will consider becoming an important and ground-breaking political pundit.
The media continues to struggle with photographing lesbians.
8. I will keep up with Rosie O’Donnell’s R Blog, in order to cultivate tastes for irony and haiku.
9. I will actively explore at least one of the following aspects of my lesbian heritage: 1) riding scooters; 2) playing tennis; or 3) lesbian-feminist folk music.
10. No more cats!
Northampton Community Players’ all-lesbian production of Cats
Tags: Holidays, Lesbian, New Year's, Regret, Resolutions
January 2, 2009 at 4:04 pm |
1. You’re hilarious.
2. You may be able to knock out number one and number nine, article two in one swoop. Just make sure your talk show is on the Tennis Channel.
3. Happy New Year.
January 7, 2009 at 4:12 am |
oh god. dolphins.
i’m afraid you can’t claim full dykehood unless you: develop a complicated relationship with your best friend/a straight girl at work OR get matching tattoos with your current/former/next partner.
i found this via ourchart.com. is that site toast or what?
January 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm |
Glad to see you appreciate a backslash and know how to use it! Keep the comments coming…
btw, yes, ourchart’s editorial content got toasted although the site is still up and running. lots of people moved over to velvetparkmedia.com.
January 19, 2009 at 9:58 am |
what the f yall have against cats yo?